WOW!! I'm way behind...

Well it seems I'm really slipping on the daily update and post thing. LOL... Well anyone who knows what's happening should understand. We've been busy trying to maintain and keep things going for my son. A lot of time at the Dr. since Friday, and still more coming up.

I got up this morning after having to take off Friday and yesterday, and I went in to work. Only to see a new face there and be told I was not expected in today. I have to either go in late or take the day off tomorrow because of more Dr.'s appointments, and have to leave early on Friday for the same. Anyone who has been following knows that what I really would like to do and feel would be most beneficial for my family is go to work as a trucker. Still I am basically a gofer at a local mechanic shop.

The problem is I can't leave my family for that long to complete training with a company that may or may not understand the situation and be willing to work with my scheduling needs. At least not right now. If my son were doing better than perhaps it would be an option. If he wasn't sick at all then I would have already started down this path and we would not still be living with my Father In Law. Alas that is not the hand we were dealt. I managed to find somewhere that would understand what is happening and work with my scheduling needs. Problem is this is not going to make the bills if I can't figure something out. I'm considering maybe I should go back to delivering pizza since they are open later and perhaps I could work out a schedule that would allow me to pull more hours in the hopes of making ends meet. Problem is then I abandon my lovely wife to have to tend to both kids at bed time.

Normally this should be easy, but my son is sleeping downstairs on the couch because we just can't get him up the stairs. It would be too dangerous for him to try. My daughter has to go upstairs to her bed for night night time. So arrises the question. If I'm not here to help, then how does she get one upstairs and not have to leave the other alone. Especially during the times that my Father In Law is traveling and won't be there to help. At the same time... This is the only way I can think of to stop cutting our own throats by having to miss available work hours to be able to help. The more I think about this the worse it's getting. I feel like I'm in one of those positions of "damned if you do and damned if you don't". So what the hell am I to do? I need to work enough to cover bills, but I can't leave it to fall on my wife to have to do everything. Basically I'm lost, and the longer this takes to figure out, the more stressed I'm getting about it.